Black christian faith dating
In raising the issue, Cooper ignited a public conversation about a topic that is increasingly getting attention in the black community and beyond.Oprah Winfrey, among others, recently hosted a show about single black women and relationships after a Yale University study found that 42 percent of African-American women in the United States were unmarried."I am a male and I know that I will treat a woman well, but I have been rejected many times because I don't thump a bible with me everywhere that I go." All in the numbers One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church.According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16 percent vs. Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation." Watkins believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending.The first message began: “Tonight my pastor told us, ‘The Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ He and my mentor always emphasize that single women should not look for a man, but wait to be found,” she wrote.“He says that, while waiting, we as women should instead focus on becoming and being that ‘good thing.’ ” To that, I heaved the heaviest of sighs and rolled my eyes all the way to the top of their sockets.
"But I do agree that some black churches teach women that they must only date a man that goes to church regularly." Watkins, who is African-American and whose father is a Southern Baptist minister, described his interactions with southern women who are devout churchgoers.Clinging to the gospel Cooper, a writer for the San Francisco Examiner, recently made claims on her blog Surviving that predominantly black protestant churches, such as African Methodists, Pentecostal, and certain denominations of Evangelical and Baptist churches are the main reason black women are single.Cooper, who is black and says she is not strictly religious, argues that rigid beliefs constructed by the black church are blinding black women in their search for love.They want a man to which they are 'equally yoked' -- a man that goes to church five times a week and every Sunday just like they do," Cooper said in a recent interview."If they meet a black man that is not in church, they are automatically eliminated as a potential suitor.
"Going to these sites is discouraged in the black church because these places are seen as places where 'sin dwells.' But if women are compassionate, as the bible preaches they should be, then they need to be more open about the men they choose to date and where they might meet them." "I'm not against religion, or against the church, I'm against women limiting their choices and putting themselves in a box because they do what their church tells them to do," Cooper says. "Telling black women that they should spend their two hours on Sunday elsewhere and drive them away to go to the bar to find a date is not helpful to our communities." "Black women are the backbones of their community and without them a lot of charitable work would not get done, social justice on the ground would be diminished and outreach to poor people would be severed." Patty Davis, the long time churchgoer in Georgia, says all the arguments over what the church preaches miss the point. "The real question is: What are you coming to church for?