Free chat and masterbait
You try to speak to them but it never comes out right, it never comes out as the way that you think it should sound. They believe that they should just suck up the pain and work through it themselves At the beginning of the relationship, there is the honeymoon phase where so many chemicals are being released that many logical issues in character traits are not apparent. The “I don’t need you or want you” mentality isolates you from your own feelings and those of others. The crux of it is that there is an inability to love – both to feel it and to give it.It is only in the middle stages where the imperfections are seen that larger issues can begin to develop.One side may begin to pull away in the relationship; the one individual who feels engulfed while the other feels abandoned by this pull away. They cannot trust others, who will only say “No” or hurt them.
Transferring into relationships (should they occur), the avoider stays quiet about many hard to face issues.
Complicating things is the fact that each person experiences their own set of emotions, and can think of each other as the abandoner or engulfer!
In some cases the individual who distances themselves doesn’t notice, and the abandoner begins to feel like all the energy is coming from within to keep the relationship together.
The avoider mindset can lead to stagnation and neutrality in relationships as well.
One side wants the relationship to move forward, the other doesn’t.
The insecurity can cause anger and make you direct the blame towards your partner.